we have pet lesbian snakes
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
