Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
