We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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