Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
