I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
