I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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