Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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