I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
