Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
