whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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