that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
