He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
