It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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