i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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