You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
