We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
