ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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