Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
