i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I faked an abortion last night.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
