should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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