Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
