Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
