I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
