I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
