Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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