I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i love accidental penises.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
