This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
