He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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