If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
