Can Purell be used as lube?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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