found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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