So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
