Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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