what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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