just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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