girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
