Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she looked like the before picture.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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