ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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