Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
