you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
