I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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