i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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