where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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