He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
