WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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