You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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