i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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