Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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