I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
