What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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