My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
