I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
