Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
